16 April 2006

                Editing Poetry

                I am at work
                crafting language
                my lines of
                humming to
                as I bring out
                the quiet
                of these
posted by Gilbert at Sunday, April 16, 2006


Blogger Gilbert Koh said...

I don't think that this is a particularly good poem and if I hadn't find such an interesting picture to go along with it, I probably wouldn't have bothered to post it.

April 16, 2006  
Blogger floots said...

gives a new meaning to the term "poetry buff" :)

April 17, 2006  
Blogger dsnake1 said...

i think you are a bit harsh on yourself this time.

such economy of words but a clear image. i enjoy it when i read it aloud.

April 17, 2006  
Blogger prayingbudda said...

i agree with dsnake1.

i like your use of enjambment here; it allowed me to feel what one would go through while editing/writing poetry. it also gave each word the emphasis that it needed.

and yes, reading it aloud was really a different experience from reading it silently.

April 17, 2006  
Blogger spyder said...

Hi Gilbert,
YES! i LIKE the picture ... there's something about it - it's silent yet dramatic? Very tactile. So appropriate for the poem too.

April 18, 2006  
Blogger Amy said...

Nice, Gilbert. I love the words "quiet shine."

April 20, 2006  
Blogger MB said...

I like the idea behind this. I'm not sure I feel it's quite "there" yet. I wonder about making it more concrete, developing further details (a cloth, the dirt on your fingers, whatever) and cutting back as much as possible the words that tell about what you are actually working with (verse, language, etc). I hope you understand what I'm trying to convey.

April 20, 2006  
Blogger Gilbert Koh said...

Naaah. I'm done with this ... It's ok, I guess, for a quick read, but it's not a poem which the reader would want to come back to for a 2nd visit .... just not sufficiently rich in meaning ... as poet, I don't feel like coming back to this one either.

April 20, 2006  

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